Sure, you can go see Deadpool, a new romantic comedy, this Valentine’s Day, but don’t forget when you come home, you should also put on some romantic music. Here are eleven songs that are sure to put your partner in the mood for some lovin’.
1. “Love Song” by Jess Rona
I want to cut into your body with a knife
And crawl inside so we can be together for life.
What other song says “I want to be the Annie Wilkes to your Paul Sheldon?”
2. “Settle for Me” by Santino Fontana and Rachel Bloom
I know I’m only second place in this game
But like 2% milk
Or Seitan Beef
I almost taste the same!
This touching love song from the CW show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Mondays at 8 PM!) is all about it’s okay to settle, because why not?
3. “I Hold Your Hand in Mine” by Tom Lehrer
My love would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I hold your hand like a dainty souvenir.
Tom Lehrer was a master of the love song, especially this one, all about the delicate touch of his loved one’s hand.
4. “Love Song” by Bill Bailey
The dog has moved from the pipe to 60 cigarettes a day
And coughs his life away in the cold neon research lab of your betrayal!
Bill Bailey is also a master of the love ballad, but he combines his with some hard rock and questionable metaphors.
5. “Repeat Stuff” by Bo Burnham
I also hope you don’t see through
This clever constructed ruse
Designed by a marketing team.
Bo Burnham’s ode to manufactured love ballads is great! But, uh, it kind of takes a dark turn there at the end.
6. “Maybe You’re Not the Worst Thing Ever” by the Cast of Galavant
You’re worse than crabs-
Worse than scurvy-
Worse than lice or plague, but truth be told,
You’re growing on me, just like mold.
Galavant was another musical television show about love! And all the disgusting stuff you can compare it to!
7. “Future Soon” by Jonathan Coulton
She’ll scream and try to run
But there’s nowhere she can hide
When a crazy cyborg wants to make you his robot bride!
We all want the future to come soon. Perhaps we can watch Netflix then on our bionic eyes?
8. “Your Love Is (Love Song With Metaphor)“ by Paul and Storm
Your love is Christopher Walken.
I’m not going to tell you anything about this song, so you’ll listen to it just to figure out what that lyric is about.
9. “Log Into You” by the Arrogant Worms
You’ve logged into my soul, you’ve downloaded my dreams.
This is totally how people in the ‘90s thought the internet worked.
10. “How to Write a Love Song” by the Axis of Awesome
Baby I wrote you a love song
It wasn’t hard and it really didn’t take long.
The Axis of Awesome is like the Axis of Evil only less evil and more awesome. Wait, you could have probably figured that out on your own. (They also did that awesome 4 Chord Song.)
11. “Pictures of Your Dick” by Rachel Bloom
Now all I can do is lay around
And post pictures of your tiny dick on the internet.
Okay, I know this is more of a breakup song than a love song, but I still had to put it here, because it will always hold a place in my heart.