So now everyone has heard that Spidey will be joining all his Marvel friends in the MCU. Everyone seems excited, but let me tell you why this is a horrible idea.

1. I'm dead inside.

Things that give other people joy do nothing for me. When people smile I get bitter about the emotions I cannot feel.

2. I'm afraid of Spiders.

Even men dresses as spiders that look nothing like spiders, keep them out of the MCU!

3. I routinely have bad opinions.

The only condiment for hot dogs is mayo, anything else is worse than the holocaust. Dogs should wear diapers.

4. I like being wrong.

The attention from people telling me so is the only human contact I can get. Please notice me.

Advertisement

5. I haven't completely thought out how awesome it would be for Marvel to gain back some creative control over the Sony characters.

But I will still make a big stink about it.