It's been just over a week now since I saw Guardians of The Galaxy and like many people since the dust settled on my experience one thing has remained clear…a permanent ear-worm of I Want You Back. Ok aside from that, or more accurately related to that…I want a Groot. A plastic, fabric or wooden (well, maybe not that, but it'd be neat wouldn't it?) facsimile of the galaxy's greatest hero to call my own.
However, there isn't just one Groot out there for fans of the film to buy, there are many, so lets look at our options here…
(All prices are in UK Sterling and estimates to account for store-to-store variations)
Funko Pop Vinyl Groot (£10)
Quite a sweet little fellow this one, with his giant bobble head and stumpy (I regret nothing) proportions, and a fair if simplified attempt at something resembling a woody texture.
It's really a Funko figure before it's a GoTG one, a nice looking edition if you already collect these, but not so much if you're looking for a Groot, a few too many changes made to fit it in with the aesthetic of this particular toy line.
Disney Infinity Groot (£15)
Cool design, sort of like a Groot chimp, price isn't too bad if the size given (8.5 inches) is accurate.
Like the Funko toy before this is again part of a pre-existing line (which is tied to an Xbox game), so its design owes more to the established aesthetic of the Disney Infinity line than to GoTG. Also he* looks more like stone than wood.
Hasbro Galactic Battlers Groot (£10)
This would be your standard tie-in toy, reasonable price, reputable producer, and comes with a "battle action!"
…It…it's…hideous right? This isn't just me is it? The attempt at making the texture wood like has come out looking a cheap pizza topping and the proportions are just weirdly off.
Hot Toys Groot and Rocket. (£350)
It's a Hot Toys figure, so it's basically perfect; great texturing, painting, changeable elements like an extra head and hands, and it comes with a rocket figure and a mini potted Groot baby.
You get what you pay for, so in this case you're paying a lot. Great if you have the money for it, but even with the quality as amazing as it is it's a bit much for most people. Also the spare head they've opted for is angry Groot, and I would have gone with big dumb grin Groot, but each to their own.
Hasbro Marvel Legends Groot (£…well, we'll get to that).
This is a vast improvement over the body builder cousin of Pizza The Hutt that is the budget Hasbro toy; good sculpting, very well realised face, good number of articulation points, well proportioned, and whilst the colouring isn't movie accurate it is (again, unlike the budget one) still nice.
Yeah, about that price. You see, this Groot can only be purchased one piece at a time, along with other figures in the same line, six other figures to be precise, four of which are Guardians and two of which are…Galaxy Ironman and Nova. They're about £20 per figure, and whilst £120 isn't a bad price at all for a seven piece set, collecting seven figures when you only want one of them is…annoying to say the least.
Dancing Baby Flowerpot Groot.
Look at that adorable little face! Go dancing Groot go!
Not a real product.
Other Groots not included in this article.
Lego Groot who comes as part of a playset and looks like a brown Transformer, Minimates Groot which are some kind of weird not-Lego minifig things, and any of the awesome Groot toys which only exist in my imagination, like the Steiff Groot…sigh.
So that's where we are now, many options but somehow not many options at all. Perhaps there will be more launched for the Christmas market, or Marvel will know a good thing when they see it and licence a version of that dancing Groot, but until then, maybe I'll lean to crochet…