Welcome back to the American Horror Story: Hotel live viewing discussion thread. Step inside and join us as we watch episode 12 titled Be Our Guest. So, it seems FX lied and there are only 12 episodes for season 5 and not 13. In TV Guide I trust, when they say tonight is the season finale.

Disturbing.

Anyway, over on TV Guide they have an article that further elaborates about how all the seasons of AHS are connected via the Dante’s Inferno Unified Theory of American Horrors in Storyland. It is an interesting read, but basically they say that the first five seasons correspond with the following levels of hell:

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  • Murder House - Lust
  • Asylum - Fraud (more like Freud, amirite?)
  • Coven - Treachery
  • Freakshow - Greed
  • Hotel - Gluttony

I stand by my original theory that it actually involves aliens.

The house rules are as follows:

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  1. Don’t be a dumbass.
  2. Really, try not to be a dumbass.
  3. Try harder not to be a dumbass, dumbass.
  4. Break rules 1 thru 3. Often.
  5. Wear as much eyeliner as you can possibly fit on your face.
  6. Don’t you dare out goth Gaga. Get out.
  7. Smile when being shot in the head like you’re getting your picture taken.
  8. There’s a reason Vampire stories have so many homoerotic themes.
  9. NO PITY PARTIES IN THE BAR!!!!
  10. DON’T. HAVE. COFFEE. WITH. MY. WIFE.
  11. Confess your lurrrrrve and and crimes /betrayals at the same time, it’s the only thing that makes sense!

If the house rules are broken, you know what will happen!

Share your real-time viewing thoughts down below in the comments, I’ll chime in during commercial breaks.

In other words, there will be SPOILERS in them comments down there.

If you have a link to your personal manifesto about this episode then drop it in the comments and I’ll add to this post proper just below.

Kinja Talks Back

Deathmaster780 provides the postmortem to season 5's finale. Let’s cut to the chase and dig right in.

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It’s episode 12 days of St. Knut’s Day. What’s that you ask? Apparently it’s marks the end of the Swedish Christmas season and involves a man dressed up like a goat. What’s this have to do with American Horror Story? Nothing!! It just happens to be what day this is. Now let’s break down this Knutty surprise season finale by storyline...