Welcome to the live-viewing discussion post! We kick-off the third episode of AHS: Hotel with a healthy dose of mommy issues. I mean, we get it Murphy. You have issues with your mother. Sheesh. My hope is that it doesn’t include a grown man breastfeeding from a grown woman. This isn’t Grapes of Wraith for Pete’s sake.

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On the plus side, Ghost Sally and V.A.M.P.I.R.E.* Donovan remain compelling characters. It appears this episode is only 1 hour 16 minutes long**. Plus Angela Bassett is here tonight! Also, some people enjoyed Ol’ Timey Mr. March, so we get more of him tonight too.

To recap from last Wednesday. The house rules are as follows:

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  1. Don’t be a dumbass.
  2. Really, try not to be a dumbass.
  3. Try harder not to be a dumbass, dumbass.
  4. Break rules 1 thru 3. Often.
  5. Wear as much eyeliner as you can possibly fit on your face.
  6. Don’t you dare you out Goth Gaga. Get out.
  7. Smile when being shot in the head like you’re getting your picture taken.
  8. There’s a reason Vampire stories have so many homoerotic themes.
  9. NEW: NO PITY PARTIES IN THE BAR!!!!

If the house rules are broken then you know what happens. This happens.

Share your real-time viewing thoughts down below in the comments, I’ll chime in during commercial breaks.

In other words, there will be SPOILERS in them comments down there.

If you have a link to your personal manifesto about this episode then drop it in the comments and I’ll add to this post proper.

What’s The Chatter Across The Kinja?

Coming soon!


*V.A.M.P.I.R.E. stands for something per a discussion thread somewhere in the kinja-verse about vamps on this show. I just can’t find it. So imagine like a vampire but totally not a vampire but kind of a vampire. That’s what it means.

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**Each episode of this show that is over an hour makes me feel like I’m watching a TV movie. I guess normal things like time constraints for TV shows no longer apply to Murphy & Company. See also the world’s longest series premiere of Scream Queens.