Spider-quiz! spider-quiz! Does whatever a spider dizz! There is an alternative zodiac that gives horrorscope fans 13 signs to choose from. I mean, you can trust an august journal like the Daily Star for kosher info on things like this. Actually you’d be surprised how serious they were back then, compared to now. But I digress, they had a run of special features about the 13 star-signs, why the 13th sign was banished for being unlucky, and under this new alignment I was a spider. The characteristics of this eight-legged entity didn’t seem that different from a certain horned beast, so you know at least they are getting the biology right. Other 13-sign zodiacs and alternative astrology systems are available.

Anyway, BBC3 have got one of those handy character quizzes that tells you what kind of spider you are. True to form, they tell me I’m a daddy long-legs. A bloody crane fly. I detest those things you know. Grump, grump, grump!  

This is what it tells me:

Daddy Long Legs (British not American)

Do you try to hide your true self? Are you scared to admit who you really are? Well, that’s because you’re a daddy long legs. To many outsiders you’re a spider, but deep down you feel you don’t fit into society’s norms, deep down you know you’re not a spider at all but actually an insect – a crane fly to be precise.

Despite the double-life, you’re relaxed, enjoy hanging out and while you may have a few weaknesses – like you can’t make webs - you also have a really strong skill set. Who else will play dead for minutes at a time to scare away predators? You, that’s who. Stand strong, and be proud to be an insect. Keep on being you, daddy

So what kind of spider are you?