It's October, that time of year when many of us turn our thoughts to brightly-colored autumn leaves, the chill in the air that comes with sunset and, of course, mysteries of the occult. Once you learn the techniques outlined in this post, however, your connection to the supernatural need not be restricted to one month out of the year.

It may be irresponsible of me to share these ancient secrets with you without understanding whether you would use them for good or evil. I can only implore you to use your best judgment when drawing these mysterious symbols, and that you fully understand the nature of the being you may summon.

Let us begin.

Cosmic Cords

This may look like an ordinary electrical cord to you, but it holds magical properties when bended around on itself to symbolize cosmic unity. As you loop the cord and lay the ends together, you open a portal to another dimension, one inhabited by strange, furred creatures diabolical in nature.

These demons respond well to offerings of tuna fish, or whatever you happen to be eating yourself. I must warn you that it is difficult to banish these creatures after you've summoned them, but you may be able to divert its attention with a feather toy or laser pointer.

Thaumaturgical Tape

Using this method, it's not necessary to strive for a perfect round shape, but connecting the legs and enclosing the shape is extremely important. If there is no "IN," the demon will not be persuaded to stop being "OUT."

These demons tend to fit a finite range of sizes, so take that into consideration when constructing your summoning shape. If the shape is too large, the demon does not need to prove that it can "fits," and therefore will not "sits."

Here we see an example of a summoning form that presents no challenge to the demon. This was not a success.

Found Object Occultism

When your skill at summoning demons has grown, you will find that you are able to capture their interest and summon them by merely suggesting the summoning shape to them. Advanced practitioners advise feigning disinterest or even a determination to keep the demons out of the shape in order to increase your chances of success.

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Be cautious, however, that you do not inadvertently create summoning shapes without intending to do so - a demon may visit you without the necessary preparations in place and you may end up losing your pants.

If you reach a point in your practice where you've developed a relationship with a particular demon, you may notice that they have a personal preference in the kind of summoning shapes in which they will manifest. This may work out to your advantage as the relationship continues, as demons are curious creatures and will often involve themselves in other spells you are working on - whether you want them or not.

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In conclusion, potential demon-summoners, remember the warning at the beginning of this guide. Be sure to get to know the spiritual neighborhood before employing any of these techniques - you may end up with a bigger demon than you expected.

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Visual demonstrations of many of these demon-summoning shapes are available here.

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Special mention to Scary Nicole, who suggested that these shapes were the earliest form of the magic involved in summoning demons.