Instead of doing proper work that I ought to be doing, this afternoon I wasted my time on another poster for a movie that doesn’t exist. After a fan tweeted to Karen Gillan that she’d watch a movie with her in it even if it was about postage stamps, I came up with a plot and cast for just such a film.

Ben Whishaw plays Simon, a postal courier, who delivers packages to the small villages of the lochs and mountains that pepper the misty highlands of Scotland, and Tara, Karen Gillan, is one of his semi-regular customers, who slowly falls for his shy sweet nature, constantly looking for any excuse to chat to him each time he drives through her town centre.

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One day an important package intended for the London borough of Islington ends up mistakenly in his hands in Inverness, and its intended recipient Max ‘the Mangler’ Morris, Ray Winstone, wants it back. Really really badly.

A hilarious adventure through the snowy mountains and heather-strewn valleys ensues.

Stamp Of Approval. A romantic comedy. Coming Soon. Maybe.