The cover illustrated by Erica Henderson.

So hey, remember that whole Civil War II stuff? Forget it! Because The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe! is here and this is what the big, giant crossover should have been. It has everything! High drama! Life and death stakes! Animal supervillains! That’s supervillains who are animals, not ones who dress like animals! Iron Man in a squirrel-themed armor! AND MORE!

So, okay, the book, written by Ryan North and illustrated by Erica Henderson, starts off with Doreen Green, the titular Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, doing her thing and saving a couple of trains from derailing. And then, as she’s hanging out with her friends Chipmunk Hunk, Koi Boi, Tippy Toe, and Nancy Whitehead (no superhero name), she gets a call from Tony Stark himself.

I mean, she IS using a Starkphone, so this is totally possible.

(By the way, that’s actually Iron Man’s theme song from the ‘60s Iron Man cartoon.)

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So they all totally go to Tony Stark’s giant tower/home and meet him, which results in one of my favorite bits ever:

I would definitely read about the adventures of Nautical Nancy and her Crew.

So what does Tony Stark need with Squirrel Girl? Well, it turns out that when the Avengers raided the High Evolutionary at some point, he picked up a piece of technology that he has no idea what it does. And he needs her help to test it! No, no, not test it on her, but rather on squirrels.

She, of course, turns him down.

First item noted: big into squirrels. Second item noted: can kick Doctor Doom’s butt.

Don’t worry, though, this comic isn’t going to descend into the ethical implications of animal testing. Instead, it’s going to descend into FIGHTING ANIMAL SUPERVILLAINS YEAH. A group of the High Evolutionaries’ henchpeople attack to get his technology back and with them are “evolved humanimals.”

Note: all of these are actually apex predators.

In all the ruckus, Squirrel Girl accidentally gets pushed into the High Evolutionary’s machine...and then this happens.

The next scene is just of all the supervillains crapping their pants. Not really, though, because that would be gross.

I’m not going to spoil anything after this, because this book is so amazing it hurts. GO BUY IT. READ IT. AND THEN READ IT AGAIN BECAUSE THAT’S HOW AMAZING IT IS.

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So I will just leave you with this:

That caption is not indicative of the rest of the book. Sorry.

YEAH!