This episode was so jam packed with asinine occurrences and assorted foolhardiness that something to rip on could be identified by throwing a dart at any page of the script. You might think that the container of lube they shoehorned in would be involved in the worst affront to rationality, but you'd be wrong.

Spoilers.

Setting aside the fact that apparently people in Maine—MAINE—don't own winter coats and have never experienced or even heard about temperatures below freezing ever before in their lives, consider the following predicament:

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Your traveling companion, while in the process of securing a wheeled gurney that was rolling around in the back of the ambulance you're in, has somehow impaled herself in the leg with a metal spike during an accident.

Do you:

A) Place your wounded companion on the gurney and before the temperature drops any further roll her, in the gurney with wheels on it, to the aid of people possibly a little less incompetent than you for some sort of medical treatment?

Or:

B) Place her on the gurney but remain in the ambulance until the temperature drops to even more unmanageable levels, allow her to become incapacitated from hypothermia, leave the wheeled gurney behind to carry her—in your arms—to a restaurant, warm her up using the profoundly unsafe option of an open oven and then pull out the metal spike anyway?

This has been your Under the Dome Nitpick of the Week.