I don't know if you're anything like me (unless you're my clone and if so, can you go to work for me tomorrow?), but I get attached to my internet name. I've been Eldritch for years. Years and years and years. So many years. So when I go to a new internet place and find that name already taken, well, I tend to turn into a shrieking, clawing banshee.

My main social media haunts, besides my home base here, are Twitter and Pinterest, where I've affectionately set up shop as EldritchGirl. I like it. It's simple. It gets the point across.

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Well, some... IMPOSTOR has stolen it on Tumblr! Okay, well, I don't know if they're an impostor, but they took my name! MY NAME! I didn't even want a Tumblr anyway, but ever since they got bought out by Yahoo, the company that kills all that it touches like some kind of lich version of Midas, it has severely limited what a non-user can do on the site. I used to be able to search for "Adventure Time" and come up with pages and pages and pages of artwork and stuff. Now you are limited to a half dozen results and a big "sign up for Tumblr!" button.

At first I was like "screw you guys, I'm going to build my own Tumblr with blackjack and hookers!" but now I just really want my ability to mindlessly scroll through Tumblr again, and for that I need an accursed account. Damn them to the deepest, darkest, most unpleasant of hells.

So now I don't know who to be. Tumblr suggested some incredibly unhelpful alternatives, such as UltraEldritchGirl (what am I, a Gundam?) or SailorEldritchGirl. I mean... what? So here I sit, unable to come up with another version of... me. EldritchHair? EldritchAnimus? EldritchIsTiredOfBitchesTakingHerName? EldritchGirlJustWantsFanart? EldritchGirlHatesTumblrYouAreTotalAssholesGiveMeBackMySearchFunction? Auuugh. Misery.

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So how strongly do you identify with your chosen online name? Is it an interchangeable wisp you barely think about, or is a hardcore part of your personality?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go sharpen my claymore. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.