A few years ago I tried to write a novel. It was so terrible that I printed out all thirty-nine pages of it and burned it in a trash can to punish it.
I thought that I had deleted all copies of it from my computer and the Internet.
I thought.
And yet... I just stumbled across a copy of it.

EDIT: Fine, you two. If you want it, come and take it. But know this: it will destroy you.