Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

1-Star Reviews: Blade Runner

Business first. Let's go over the rules. First and most important, there is no intention on my part to make fun of people who don't like good movies. They have to live with that. Second, these reviews are from actual users on Amazon. Third, reviews that appear to be jokes or deal mainly with packaging damage or shipping delays are not used. Finally, Amazon reviews are where the English language goes to die. The typos made my brain burn. Now on to the fun:

The first film that I have chosen is Blade Runner. This is "The Final Cut", one of SEVEN different versions of this film that have been released at some point. This cut was released for the 25th anniversary in 2007. Blade Runner is generally regarded by science fiction fans to be a benchmark for the genre and has gained cult classic status.


There are 155 1 star reviews for Blade Runner: The Final Cut on Amazon. The reviews are shared between this version and a 5 disc box set that also contains this cut. The majority of the 1 star reviews are negative feedback about the quality of the discs Warner Brothers shipped out in the box set including discs that don't work or duplicate discs in the set. Some of the reviews were about the actual movie.

Let's start with a very succinct review that hits all the notes:

One of the worst movies I have ever seen. Ridley Scott in an overrated hack. Terrible score. Awful set design. Horrible script. Dull acting. Had the feel of a student film. I didn't like it at all. Just my opinion. Sorry if that offends some people. I purchased this movie based on Alien and the cult following it has. This is my opinion. Deal with it, nerds.

Now, I don't take issue with being called a nerd, but it seems unfair to call Ridley Scott a hack; he did win an Oscar for Gladiator. The score of this film was nominated for a Golden Globe and a BAFTA in 1983. Deal with that, not a nerd!

I don't know why this is on the top of every greatest sci-fi films list. It is a very slow, dark, and old movie. Barely made it through. Would not watch again.


I'm almost positive that Blade Runner is intentionally slow and dark. It is a thriller set in a dystopian future. As far as old, well the movie did come out in 1982. So it is old. So good review, I guess. You nailed it.

I'm not rating Blade Runner 1 star. I'm giving 1 star as a protest against Amazon and the reviewers who are rating this dvd set 5 months before it comes out.......They haven't even seen it in person. The set may be junk, how would they know.........Vid quality, Sound quality, packaging quality ??????????

So this is a 1 star protest? Got it.


Harrison Ford becomes a screen legend off of Han Solo and Indiana Jones and then he does this futuristic toilet of a movie. The story didn't make any sense and it was just a bad movie, you shouldn't combine film noir with sc-fi, no Maltese Falcon with the Jetsons, or it just didn't work with this movie. Ridley Scott directs great films like Gladiator and Alien,then directs this wasteland of a flick that shouldn't be apart of the future with or without flying cars. any one who think this is better than Star Wars than get the hell off Amazon. Hollywood Homocide might treat you to better Harrison Ford films. If you want good futuristic movies rent Minority Report or I, Robot. Make a better future by getting rid of "BAD RUNNER" Harrison, don't think less of you because this crap you did.

Shout outs to Hollywood Homocide (sic) and I, Robot all in one review? Amazing!


Now who wants unicorns?

-And that unicorn dream sequence? Whats up with that? My advice... don't waste your money on this one.


-A unicorn? Sorry, if you're not a fan and no one tells you that replicants dream that way, then you've got no idea what it means. AND NO ONE TELLS YOU WHAT IT MEANS. NOT EVEN A HINT!

-Will someone tell me what a unicorn from a bad Tom Cruise movie has to do with airing out replicants in L.A. 2019?


-The ending leaves you feeling like...what? I'm not even going to mention the Unicorn.

-The DC also inserted an idiotic scene of a unicorn trapsing through a glade - looked like it was lifted directly from "Legend."


So nobody wants unicorns? Unbelievable. By far the best 1 star review of this movie can not be used because the reviewer uses his name too much in it. I can tell you that if features a conversation between the reviewer and the movie, not the director, but the actual MOVIE!

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