The Flash and Arrow have both shown a great capacity for introducing modernized versions of DC supervillains. Even the most silly ideas — the Bug-Eyed Bandit, for example — are still fair game (even if they aren’t specifically Flash or Green Arrow villains).
These ten supervillains, on the other hand, should be put into the show post-haste just because they seem so batshit crazy that it would be fun just to see how the shows interpret them.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin:
The Brain and Monsieur Mallah
Primary Enemy: The Doom Patrol
Why? Well, Monsieur Mallah is a French anarchist ape. Just imagine Gorilla Grodd with a beret. And the Brain is a mad scientist brain in a jar.
Also, they are in love with each other.
Sure, we could always just stick with Grodd as our only ape supervillain, but how crazy awesome would it be to have another ape? More specifically, a French anarchist ape and his mad scientist brain in a jar boyfriend?
The correct answer would be: holy shit super crazy awesome.
Primary Enemy: The Metal Men
Hell, where do you think S.T.A.R. Labs puts it’s trash? That’s right: a lab like S.T.A.R. labs must have tons of waste, a lot of it toxic and they have to dump it somewhere.
Enter: Chemo. Originally a plastic vessel used to contain chemical byproducts from failed experiments, it came to life and went on a rampage.
Seriously: it’s living toxic waste. In a plastic container. Perfect for that environmental message episode of The Flash.
Primary Enemy: Batman
Look, Crazy Quilt was a painter who was secretly a criminal but was then blinded by a gunshot and then got surgery to repair his vision, but then it turned out he could only see in bright, vivid colors that are disorienting. Also, he has a helmet that emits bright colors.
This guy was never going to be one of Batman’s A-list villains. He wasn’t even C-list. What was he? Well, crazy. And his costume was quilt-like. But I’m sure the Arrow writers can make him a formidable villain for Oliver Queen...or something.
Primary Enemy: Batman
Alright, Batman had some goofy supervillains. But sometimes all the cool themes are taken. Playing cards? Taken. Coins? Taken. Arctic flightless birds? Taken. Sometimes you are only left with kites.
But Charles “Chuck” Brown took that and ran with it. (Yes, his name is Charlie Brown.) He used kites for everything. Well, not everything. Mainly just for flying. Well, gliding. He’s basically a hang-glider.
And okay, Batman also used a kite to bring him down. But still! He totally uses kites! He’s Kite-Man!
Primary Enemy: Wonder Woman
Well, okay, they will probably never use this guy. Because, let’s face it, it’s super racist. But it might be cool to see how they would...make it not super racist.
The original Egg Fu was a Chinese Communist agent who just happened to look like an egg. Post-Crisis, Egg Fu was a nineteenth century supercomputer originally from Apokolips. Later on, his name was revealed as “Chang Tzu” and he kidnapped a bunch of mad scientists. Basically: he’s M.O.D.O.K. only super racist.
Primary Enemy: Hawkman and Hawkgirl
He’s a ghost who wears formal opera clothing. How is that not awesome?
“Gentleman” Jim Craddock was a notorious highwayman in the 1800s who ended up dying at the hands of DC Western heroes Nighthawk and Cinnamon. Nighthawk and Cinnamon turned out to be the reincarnated souls of Khufu and Chay-Ara who were then reincarnated as Hawkman and Hawkgirl.
So Craddock comes back to, well, haunt them. He can’t move on until his killers have left the mortal plane and his killers keep getting reincarnated, so he’s stuck. Which is actually a pretty cool origin.
Primary Enemy: Superboy
He’s a shark.
More specifically, his father is the “King of All Sharks,” the Shark God. Or possibly he’s just a metahuman who thinks his father is the Shark God.
In any case, he was totally in the Suicide Squad and the Secret Six, so he would totally fit in with the Arrow gang.
Sample dialogue: “I’m a *&^%$#@ SHARRRRRRRRK!”
Primary Enemy: The Flash and Starman
Okay, here’s one that’s more creepy than most: the original Rag Doll, Peter Merkel, was a triple-jointed contortionist who dressed as a rag doll to rob stores. Later on in life, when he was old, he built a cult around himself and ended up almost destroy Opal City.
His son, Peter Merkel Jr, was a part of the Secret Six and had extensive surgery to install cybernetic joints. He’s most known for being creepy and hilarious...and having a sister, Junior, who is incredibly disturbing.
Primary Enemy: The JSA
Speaking of incredibly disturbing: Johnny Sorrow was originally a silent film star who turned to crime when “talkies” became the rage. He stole a device called a “Subspace Prototype” that allowed him to warp through dimensions in order to walk through walls. Unfortunately, Sandy the Golden Boy (sidekick of the Golden Age Sandman) destroyed the Subspace Prototype, which resulted in Johnny being dragged into a “fractal dimension” called one of the “Subtle Realms” where he met something called the King of All Tears.
The King of All Tears gave him a golden mask and a new face. If he removes the mask, anyone who sees his face dies. He fought the JSA a bunch of times, but seriously: he’s based on the King in Yellow. How freakin’ creepy would that be?
Primary Enemy: Batman
Alright, one more goofy Batman villain who is also related to sight: Philip Reardon was a former soldier who was working as a security guard when he encountered Batman. Mistaking Bats for a thief, they fought and Reardon was blinded by an explosion.
Here’s where it gets goofy: a doctor was then able to connect his optic nerves to his fingers. This allowed him to see out of his fingers. And, deciding that Batman was responsible for his condition, he became a supervillain.
Here’s where it gets even goofier: you know what the best way to defeat the Ten-Eyed Man is? Throw a cactus at him. He will totally catch it, forgetting that his fingers are his eyes and then he’ll be blinded again.
But I would love to see what The Flash and Arrow writers would do with him and all the rest.