Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
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Star Trek: Picard Nitpick of the Week

Illustration for article titled Star Trek: Picard Nitpick of the Week

I don’t really dislike this show and the episodes aren’t unenjoyable to watch, yet I find myself ripping on it constantly. Before this show started I was afraid it wouldn’t be a case of someone saying, “I just had a brilliant idea for a Picard show! Somebody call Patrick Stewart!” but instead, “Patrick Stewart agreed to make a Picard show! What should it be about?” and the show has realized this fear utterly.

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Anyway, spoilers and whatever.

Illustration for article titled Star Trek: Picard Nitpick of the Week
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Runner-up nitpicks:

I found the opening scene of the Romulan cultists’ apocalyptic wiggins about the Admonition unintentionally hilarious. I literally had to pause the episode and watch this:

  • So just because some assholes whacked some suns together 200,000 years ago they know everything about everything and we should start a secret society because a glowing alien artifact at the ass-end of an ass-world never lied to anybody?
  • Breaking a Borg cube with the sheer force of despair? The fuck? Borg cubes are made of despair.
  • Why is everybody always telling Picard to get fucked? He shouldn’t get fucked, they should get fucked.
  • If I was disappointed that Seven doing the Borg queen thing didn’t involve her bifurcated torso and dangling spinal column rising into the ceiling, would that make me a bad person?
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Nitpick of the Week:

Why was Seven upset about all those Borg getting sucked out into space? Borg can survive in space. They’re known for it. They don’t give a shit. They can float around out there all goddamn day.

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Enduring the Admonition,

This has been your Star Trek: Picard Nitpick of the Week

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