Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

5 Reasons why the Sony/Marvel Spider-Man deal is terrible

So now everyone has heard that Spidey will be joining all his Marvel friends in the MCU. Everyone seems excited, but let me tell you why this is a horrible idea.

1. I'm dead inside.

Things that give other people joy do nothing for me. When people smile I get bitter about the emotions I cannot feel.

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2. I'm afraid of Spiders.

Even men dresses as spiders that look nothing like spiders, keep them out of the MCU!

3. I routinely have bad opinions.

The only condiment for hot dogs is mayo, anything else is worse than the holocaust. Dogs should wear diapers.

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4. I like being wrong.

The attention from people telling me so is the only human contact I can get. Please notice me.

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5. I haven't completely thought out how awesome it would be for Marvel to gain back some creative control over the Sony characters.

But I will still make a big stink about it.

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