Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
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AoS S07E01 Spoilerific Reaction Thread: Here's the Deal-io

All right, you abercrombies - let’s bump some gums. The butter & egg man brought us Season 7, and Season 6 left us all with a few . . questions.

Pictured: Questions, including many about how HMU got her hair to present that short without a cut.
Pictured: Questions, including many about how HMU got her hair to present that short without a cut.
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(Or maybe just me. I feel like there was weather or election news that broke up my final few episodes, because I have zero idea what the nuance of the temple stuff was. Of course, I was also spending most of my time back then re-watching the FitzSimmons bottle episode, so that could be part of it, too.)

My Previously On is below; in the meantime — how are you, my darlings? The world has gone cattywumpus since last time we hung out, and I miss you all! Fill me in! Tell me jokes! Give your Terrible 30s Slang a test run!

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Let’s do this!

What I remember:

The Runaway Truck sequence, where Deke, Skye, May, and Butterfly play SPEED! with an atom bomb while ConvenientPlotDevice has Fitzsimmons on Izel’s ship and Sarge commandeers the Zephyr.

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Everything works out, kind of, except my pilot dude gets body-snatched and then we play Who’s Possessed?

I feel like someone does something to Sarge to get him vaguely redeemed-y?

Then everyone runs away to an Exotic Temple Location (must have been a Tomb Raider set at the lot sale), there’s some portal swapping and grim transdimensional beingness, I think, and May goes badass in a vestibule.

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Everyone runs around, there’s a zombie attack on a bunch of places, and FitzSimmons make some sort of Separated For Our Own Good Featuring Timey-Wimey deal to rescue everyone, only Simmons has to be unemotional about it for Reasons.

There’s lots of mortal peril, but I don’t think anyone dies. May’s pretty close, though — doesn’t Simmons take her out on a stretcher?

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Oh, and we have LMD Coulson, because in a show where AIs have already built human bodies we couldn’t make him for realsie reals to create a May/Coulson happy ending. Or at least, not until Show Finale.

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