Spoilers like... everywhere. There was a point last night as I was watching Being Human where everything was seemingly neatly wrapped and lovely music was playing and werewolves were standing under a chuppah being married by an internet ordained vampire while their newly ghosted friend stood by quipping happily that I sort of, kind of freaked out on Twitter during my Live Tweet.
Can you blame me though? This episode had so many pretty little resolutions and beats of genuine happiness towards the end (regardless it is the episode right before the season finale) that it felt like the greatest calm before the most epic shit storm that loomed over the horizon. We can't have nice things so close to a season finale. The series of tubes that is Television does not work that way.
Before we got the jewish werewolf wedding and me subsequently googling for that song that played (Lady in White by Royal Wood if you were wondering), there was some major drama llamas that played out. For starters, Aiden, fearfully watched over his new son Henry V2.0 (lighter, uses less memory, social networking integrated!), who may or may not turn into a lumpy ghoul vampire thing. After Aiden ashed the lumpy professor in the last episode, a lot of questions popped up. Including, but not limited to "Can vampires make healthy sons and daughters now? Or has the virus, werewolf sipping, or combination thereof tainted the process?". Our vamps may not be able to repopulate, because their mojo may now have abnormalities and they therefore produce unhealthy offspring. Which sucks for them, but not really for me, because Aiden aside I always thought the vampires were jagoffs and their politics similar to those in upper middle class churches, just less bloody (hey-o!). Also it would be a cool hangup for next season.
And as Aiden fretted on the floor over his son; Josh and Nora relished in their pre-martial bed, wowed over Aiden's carpentry skills and knowledge of jewish tradition, and Sally started dying. Which is really where we were focused this ep; Sally preparing for the end and facing said end.
It was though, kind of a marvelous end. Sally, not wanting to ruin the big day, held out to the last minute before letting it known she was so critical as well as critically scared of meeting up with Donna. Josh and Nora put off the wedding despite having Cat downstairs (did she just play Fruit Ninja while they were up there or something?) in order to focus on their very patchy, not longer hungry for human, friend. The whole supernatural family huddled up Sally's room to keep her company, keep her comfortable, and occasionally try to diffuse the anguish of it all with awkward humor. Which made it feel all very real, because if you ever are in a situation were you or a loved one are going through the near death thing, all of that happens. You may not flash your grossly patchy and rotting body at them to ick them out, but if you have tubes sticking out of weird places you'll probably show them off at one point and make jokes about them.
The highlight of the entire episode though was Nora's brilliant idea to madly shop for her BFF and bring her a comprehensive death bed wardrobe to choose from so Sally can haunt in style. Can we talk about how good that was? So good. It was smart character writing that worked during such a somber scene because Sally would be incredibly vain about her spectral togs. And Nora, despite being written horribly/annyingly inconsistent this season, has been there for her gal pal the whole way. It was sweet, and when Sally found the right dress and it was time to go, made the upcoming ending more poignent. Sally was dressed for death, the boys were quickly there to see her off, and Aiden had some nice things to say about the fear of losing your mortal coil.
And that poignent, sweet tone lasted approximately two seconds after Sally re-ghosted. Because suddenly it was time to kick some witch ass and Aiden had shoved his hand into dead body Sally's chest to take out her heart as Donna's door popped up.
I wasn't too keen on Nora not coming along for the ride to save Sally. I mean, she's been shown to be aggressive and more kill happy then her werepuppy Josh, to the point where it was a major b-plot in Season 2. So why did Nora have to stay behind like the damsel watching the warriors head off to battle? She should have been joining in the fight. It's her best friend after all, they drank wine coolers through a door so Sally couldn't eat her during the saddest Bachelorette Party ever for chrissakes. Weak.
She stayed though, and the others jumped through the door. The boys both had some creepy ass visions. A pre-vampire mutton chop Aiden found his human child has been turned into one of those lumpy vampires that attacks him. And Josh, back in his head forest, was attacked by his wolf. Whatever it means (premonition?) we don't know, because they landed in the soup kitchen which was some weird inter-dimensional witch headquarters being guarded by undead Ray.
The whole thing felt a lot shorter and neater than the actual Sally dying part. I mean, Josh went off and decapitated Ray in about four minutes. Ray who at one part turned into a werewolf at will and who Josh darkly taunted him to attack by threatening his son (whoa dude, you went there). Then Sally did a spell the other witch gave her, which is actually a very petty bitch slap of an incantation that Donna laughed off before shaking off Aiden's use of Sally heart, then chopped up Sally and ate her soul. Sally of course told the boys that she loves them (awwwwww!) but after being swallowed, killed Donna from the inside and ta-dah! All done! Let's go get married after being prodded by Emily who's pissed she's in a dress!
And so the jewish werewolf wedding happened, and the last five minutes of Being Human teased us the Season Finale's FUBAR. The FUBAR being 1) the candles flickering in the house as Sally watched them with concern. 2) Henry v2.0 still passed out yet looking decidedly lumpy and malformed. Which suggests the virus did effect vampire fathering and Aiden now has a messed up fang kid. And 3) as Nora and Josh celebrated their honeymoon in a cozy woodland cabin, a very pissed and one eyed Liam showed up. Messed up kids and vengeful dads. Right on, Being Human, right on.