Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Christmas aliens!

I have a theory (and it ISN'T bunnies!). What does the so-called "Christmas spirit" and aliens have in common? EVERYTHING.

So I've been thinking recently how little I'm looking forward to the holidays. Usually by this time of year, I am full on into the holiday spirit. Christmas carols, Christmas movies, decorating! This year I'm staring into the abyss that is Christmas with nothing but eldritch dread.


Usually, randomly, a switch in my brain will flip and I'll go from "Ugh, Christmas? Really? Again? Bah and humbug!" to "GOOD KING WENCESLAS LAST LOOKED OUT ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN!". I never know when it will happen, but one day I'll wake up and want to watch White Christmas twelve billion times, hum carols and plan elaborate gift wrapping I won't actually follow through with. I know it's coming and my brain will delude me into LOVING Christmas.

So, why does this happen? Clearly, the answer is CHRISTMAS ALIENS. It's like aliens invade your brain for a few weeks to make you LOVE CHRISTMAS and at about 11:30am on Dec 25 you look around at the ripped wrapping paper and your loot and go "wtf just happened?". They're like the brain slugs on Futurama, overwriting your brain so that you love everything about the holidays.

Something must be done to protect humanity against the scourge of these aliens! We must learn their purpose and destroy them! Someone call the Doctor! Someone call SHIELD! We need to get our brightest minds on this before it's too late and we're wearing woolly sweaters, stringing popcorn garlands and watching an elf try to become a dentist!

(Seriously though, Christmas? I am not ready. I do not feel Christmasy in the least. Can we go back to Halloween?)

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