Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Creationists ruin everything, including little girls' dreams.

So, recently a little girl in South Carolina named Olivia McConnell thought the state should have an official fossil, so she wrote to her local legislators, and they both loved her idea. The two lawmakers — state Rep. Robert Ridgeway and state Sen. Kevin Johnson — proposed a bill to the make the mammoth the official South Carolina state fossil. The state House passed the bill almost unanimously and sent it on to the state Senate, where it is currently on the table.

Sounds like the makings of a cute, heartwarming story about a little girl who loves fossils, right? Wrong.


The bill is being fought by two state senators due to their ... religious beliefs. One of them, state Sen. Mike Fair, even insisted that the bill be amended to mention the Book of Genesis and God as the creator of mammoths. The amendment was ultimately shot down, but the bill is still in limbo.

The South Carolina state legislature had one job ... one job! How do you fuck up passing a cute, straightforward bill like this? Send Lord Helix after these jerks.

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