Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled Dear JJ: No callbacks in the new Star Wars movie...please.

-No Old Han calling someone else's ship a piece of junk.

-No characters suddenly revealed as other character's family members.

-No evil guy questioning another evil guy's lack of faith in the Dark Side

-No one telling Luke he's their "only hope".

-No whiny kid who wants to pick up power converters.

-No someone thinking they see a space station, but its really just a moon.*

-No R2D2 repeating the famous quote, "Bleep blope blop bleep blope."

-No laughing it up, fuzzball.

-No discovering wonderful smells sarcastically.

-No Leia saying, "I know", as she places her hand over Han's on the transparent surface of the engine room containment wall, where the general is dying from radiation poisoning and has just told the princess he loves her.

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Please make a movie and not a fan service wankfest.

Sincerely,

The Whole Fucking World

*I actually kind of like this one.

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