Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Fear The Walking Dead: May The Fourth Wall be With You

Nick is one of us. Wave next time he gets stoned, he might see it!

I just realized something. Whenever Nick is high, he has better clarity than anyone else on this show. It’s almost like he’s tapping into our reality (with The Walking Dead and Zombies in mass media), and suddenly realizes what is going on. Tobias has a clue because of their version of Reddit and is stocking up. Nick? Whenever he gets lit, he suddenly understands NOT ONLY what is happening (dude, dead people are suddenly not so dead) but what needs to be done (GET THE HELL OUT OF TOWN).


I maintain that of the two shows (Fear and The Walking Dead), Nick has the best skill for staying alive in a slow-zombie universe: CARDIO. When shit hits the fan, Nick NOPES out, no questions asked. Girlfriend eating a dude? Nope. Drug dealin’ buddy taking you out to pasture? NOPE. Neighbor eating your dog? GOODBYE. This man gets it. More people would be alive if they just ran away.

When it comes to zombies, flight > fight. EVERY. TIME.

1. If Nick is one of us, then I have to assign identities to the rest of the cast, right? Well, Madison is this show’s Shane, or at least is turning into him. Walkers (Infected? Geeks? Have they been given a name in show yet?) appeared like two days ago and she’s already coming to terms with putting down her friends. These are fresh Infected (I think one of the jumpy National Guardsmen referred to them as such?) so it’ll take a few whacks with that little hammer to finish of ole’ Susan.

Think about it: In the span of three episodes, she’s gone from lenient school counselor who won’t let a little knife get between Tobias and college to stealing drugs from the school lock-up for her son to putting down the dog’s neighbor. She will last a long time, because she is willing to do what it takes, no matter how dirty. Shit, she got Oxy for Nick to snort just to keep him high enough to get out of town.

(I bet the occupation [let’s call it Occupation Fuster Cluck] makes Nick feel the burn).


If Madison is Shane, then Travis is Herschel, BEFORE spaghetti Tuesdays. He’s Rounding-Up-Walkers-For-The-Barn-Hershel, at that. True, no one really knows what’s going on, but he’s already watched like 4 people turn or get eaten, and he’s still in denial. HE WATCHED A PLATOON UNLOAD ON A PATIENT AT THE HOSPITAL, RIGHT AFTER HE WATCHED ONE COP EAT ANOTHER COP. There’s no saving Susan, dude. She ded.

Daniel has to be Daryl, right? He’s a badass. His Cousin isn’t a cousin, but is a COUSIN, ya dig? He got out, but still keeps in touch. Travis needs him more than he needs Travis. BIG time.


Alicia is oblivious, if that’s a character. She’s the group’s anchor to the way things were. She acts like everything is fine when she is clearly in a weird situation (what was UP with Susan’s kitchen lights? I NEED THEM) because growing up without a dad and with a soon-to-be stepdad in Los Angeles is hard, and a good way to stay safe is to act tough in the face of adversary. She was scared shitless when she went back to get the ammo from Susan’s house, but took time to look at the pictures. She’s not ready to give up what appears to be already gone.

2. Chris was pretty smart by keeping an eye on the outside (even though he saw that damn Infected right outside the window (creeeeeeepy), and by feeling the wall. I’m surprised that shop didn’t have a back door, though.


3. HOW THE SHIT WAS TRAVIS’ TRUCK STILL THERE? This is a riot. The first to go is anything not bolted down, and cars are ripe for a flippin’.

4. Pay attention to the radio any time the characters are in a car (or, now that the Guard is here, when they’re inside the house). Last episode, when they were driving to get Chris, the radio was talking about a massacre, and how it was so horrible…that the league’s best quarterback couldn’t play. This week, they threw in the nugget that a state of emergency was called by the governors of 11 states. This shit is spreading, and the radio was a nice subtle outlet to the rest of the world. Last episode, Travis was going to get his son while the chuckleheads on the radio complained about Football. This week? Yeah we’ve got a state of emergency in 11 states.


Pay attention to the background in Fear, it’s done a good job of dropping hints to help along the way. The first episode it was the emergency vehicle background noise slowly creeping. Last episode, the slow build and examples of police having to get headshots to drop an Infected. This week? We’re getting insight into the rest of the country via the radio broadcast.

5. Speaking of subtlety: Nick looking up and seeing the plane change course was about as NOT subtle as you could get. HMM. Could that be the setting for the Web-series WALKERS ON A PLANE set to air soon? Get these motherfucking walkers off my motherfucking plane!


I bet the plane lands safely, given that we didn’t see it crash. Somewhere I remember hearing that one of the characters of that show would end up on Fear.

6. Speaking of headshots: The National Guard still hasn’t figured out that it takes a head shot to put down an Infected (Madison has, but that’s a different story). When they took out Susan, they shot her in the back (she was still going for her hubby as she fell down; I propose that they severed her spine and she just lost footing). When the authorities took out the walker at the hospital, notice she took like 15 shots before the stopped and someone 360 SCOPED HER NOOB.


7. The infrastructure fell a lot quicker than I thought it would. I wonder if the grid was overloaded by calls/fires or what, because not only did Downtown LA (Hey I was there this morning yay!) go dark, but most of metro-LA as well. That’s a LOT of places to go dark all at once.

8. Daniel is right: Travis is weak. I fear (haha get it? About as subtle as that PLANE) that it’ll take the death of either Chris or Alicia to get him on boards with head smashin’. For fucks sake, he thinks everything will be fine now that IN THE ARMY NOW is protecting his block. They couldn’t even tell the difference between a person grave and a dog grave. HOW BIG IS THAT DOG? Please don’t ask them to clean your water.


9. I really like this show. It felt like a lot happened, but at the same time, it was a slow creep of stuff. I thought the episode would end with the Guard taking out Susan, but I was wrong. We went from a localized riot in Los Angeles to 11 states of emergency to the first up close Infected kill (dog eatin’ dog world) to full National Guard occupation in the span of 63 minutes (damn you commercials). I loved how the Guardsmen were jumpy when Madison approached them, and how just like everyone else, they have no idea what is happening. Maybe they should roll with Nick and get some perspective, maaaaan.

Because Nick was also Young-He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named:

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