Holy crap! Pretty much everything we predicted would happen did happen. But then more stuff happened!!

  • Sansa did not use the corkscrew on anybody. She cleverly used it as a lockpick. But she left it behind! Poor planning.
  • Sam himself made the wise decision to get the hell out of Dodge and become a maester. Smart guy, that Sam.
  • Selyse hangs herself, Stannis’s army deserts (as well they should), and Mel peaces out. Then Brienne gets sweet revenge. I cheered. That’s what you get for being an asshole, Stannis!
  • Trant’s assassination went by way quick. And how did Arya learn face magic before going blind?
  • Jaime comes out to Myrcella, and she’s totally accepting of his lifestyle choices. My roommate got a little worried that they’d start making out, but then she dies, Poison Ivy-style.
  • Ellaria DID have a pendant just like Tyene’s. I totally called it a few weeks back.
  • Varys and Tyrion, PoliSci Bros!
  • Our road trip buddies for next season: Jorah and Daario
  • Uncle Benjen gets mentioned, and for a moment there was a glimmer of hope, but it’s a trap!
  • The stabbing of Jon was way more brutal than in the book were he just got a poke in the back. Et tu, Olly?! At my house we were screaming Olly’s name the whole time.
  • Good thing Mel got there quick. That look she gave. It wasn’t about Stannis, though. It was more that she was in disbelief that she backed the wrong Azor Ahai.
  • Since Davos is back and now a free agent, I still hold out hope of seeing a merman (Wyman Manderly) on the show.
  • Wow, I did not expect to see all of Lena Heady. Just her ass maybe, but nope. Everything. And no merkin either. Game of Thrones > True Blood
  • Speaking of full-frontal, I think this is only the 2nd time we’ve seen a non-fake-Hodor wiener on this show. South Park is totally wrong about GoT.
  • I want the Chant of Shame for my new ringtone.
  • Robert Strong!!!!

Myrcella Baratheon-Lannister RIP

Selyse Baratheon RIP

Stannis Baratheon RIP

Myranda RIP

Ser Meryn Trant RIPieces

Old Dude Wearing a Bunch of Faces RIP

Jon Snow RIP?

Body Count: 6/7 Is this a new GoT record?