Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

It’s your resident tiger buddy, here to quell any lingering doubts in your head about voting for your striped friend during the January Madness that is sweeping the country.

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I know that my furry candidate, the Pallas Cat, wants your vote as well, so before you make a decision, let me give you some interesting tiger facts.

We are excellent parents. We care for our young and keep them clean at all times.

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

Tigers are brilliant singers. We have a musical knowledge that is far superior to other large cats.

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

We are excellent listeners. You can tell us your problems and we will listen with a ravenous appetite for more.

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

We are excellent at playing sports even when the ball goes out of bounds. We are very athletic and encourage healthy lifestyles.

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

Tigers have wonderful senses of humor. We can go on and on, telling jokes, and we don’t mind being the brunt of jokes.

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

Did I mention that we can dance? Of course we can! Tigers have excellent moves in da club!

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

Some might say that tigers can be ferocious, and we might have developed a tiny reputation for mauling things, but I assure you, it’s far overblown by the media. We’d hardly hurt a fly!

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

In conclusion, tigers are your friends, and when you vote for the stripes, you vote for freedom. Remember #TEAMTIGER when you click the dot, and as always, may the fangs stripes be with you!

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Illustration for article titled Greetings, Observation Deckers...

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