Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
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HAIL, KING OF SCOTLAND - What's Your Prophecy?

So I went to go see Macbeth yesterday, after having not thought about it for 6 years.

It was obviously amazing, since Kenneth Branagh can do no wrong in my eyes. Also, Alex Kingston (River Song) was Lady Macbeth and she nailed it. And the witches! The witches were incredible.


But what stuck out most was the warning/prophecy they gave Macbeth: that he will not be killed by someone of woman born. So he thinks he's invincible until Macduff is all "Macduff was from his mother's womb untimely ripped!" AKA C-Section. Boom! Macbeth goes down. (Sorry for the spoilers?)

Illustration for article titled HAIL, KING OF SCOTLAND - Whats Your Prophecy?

ANYWAY, I got to thinking what kind of prophecy I would like for myself, in the modern age. "Not of woman born" is something I could easily figure out (CSection, futuristic artificial-womb baby, etc. Also, I think I just wrote Macbeth 3000). "I will be not be defeated by any man" says the dumb Nazgul who is then pwned by whatsherface (Eowyn? I can't remember now. Why yes, I AM on the internet, why do you ask?) with a cry of "I am no man!" STAB.

So one day, when I start taking over the criminal underground with my brutal but efficient methods, I would really like the local prophets to bestow upon me a fortune such that I die in a delightfully ironic/poetic fashion. But what? What shall I be defeated by? Shall I mark someone as my equal? Can only one of us live if the other is defeated? Shall I 'outthink' my prophecy or am I doomed to fulfill it no matter how hard to try?

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