Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

How to make your kitchen look like a murder scene without actually killing anyone:

Attempt to open a pomegranate.

What not to wear while opening a pomegranate:

A white shirt.

You know what happens when you put a white shirt stained with red pomegranate juice in the washer?


You get a white shirt with deep bluish-purple stains instead.

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