Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Previously, How to Tell if You Are in a High Fantasy Novel. Mallory Ortberg has done it again. Have you found yourself in a strange place where women and men (but mostly the women) wear revealing clothes and are up for anything? Double check to make sure which kind of "soft" story you are in:

Illustration for article titled How to Tell if You Are in a Soft Science Fiction Novel

Something has gone terribly wrong with the earth's orbit, but modern gender roles are still pretty much intact.

Even ray guns cannot destroy man's oldest and strongest enemy – hubris.

A beautiful woman who represented all that was good and pure in human civilization is horribly killed, and it is at least 45% your fault.

A princess of the warrior caste with gleaming indigo skin longs to understand this Terran concept your people call 'love.'

Racism no longer exists now that all of humanity has banded together to speak English, vote democratically, adhere to 20th-century American social standards, and battle alien intruders in a thinly veiled metaphor for anti-immigration sentiment.

The ship's doctor has a drinking problem.

You have discovered/cured/invented something desperately important, but at what cost?

At least one alien species composed only of women has been searching for centuries for the single male who will lead them into a Golden Age. That male is you, and you will have to have sex with their beautiful witch-queen, whose arms are entwined with copper jewelry and whose eyes are the color of sunset.


I can't wait until I meet the brash loner protagonist with the tragic backstory. I will teach him to love again

Read more at The Toast.

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