Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

How Would You Redesign Classic Fantasy Creatures?

Fantasy seems to have become very strict when it comes to its creatures and races. Elves have to be wise, excellent bowman and in peak human perfection. Orcs and Goblins are ugly and evil. Dwarves are small and excellent miners and Halflings is the term you use when you want to use Hobbits and don’t want to piss off the Tolkien estate.

But what if someone decided to subvert these modern day fantasy trends and change them dramatically? What if that person, was you?


How would you change classic fantasy creatures like Vampires, elves, trolls, fairies etc? Also how do you think people would react? Would they be annoyed for changing them like people did with Elves in Dragon Age 2 or Vampires in Twilight? Or would they be accepting?

Here are six examples that I came up with:


My versions would make these beings not aliens, but the few remaining people of a dead race called Boskop man. They are quite small and retain their large brains and foreheads, but are very frail, have human colour skin and struggle to defend them themselves. They would have high intelligence and are researched heavily by the science community in order to save them.


Using the original Christian and Germanic texts as a basis, elves don’t have pointy years, but have incredibly pale skin and large red or reddish orange eyes. Think something like this:


They are incredibly business savvy, prefer to fight with words and a love for fine dining and wines. Unlike the prudish High Elves, they are party animals and love orgies. They are also worshipers of the Gods of Death and have a high respect for their elderly and dead.


Like much fantasy literature, Goblins are related to elves, In fact they are elves but are also not ugly or evil. They are the elven equivalent to Romani people and love to tell tales and make beautiful music. They are the most left wing out of all the groups and are very progressive.



My version of Orcs would make them be humans and are anarchists and anti-social cult. They don’t believe themselves evil and only target government officials and police officers. They hate the order of human society as well as being heavily muscled and like to use fire.



Werewolves are not humans that can turn into wolves, but are Wolves that are becoming humanoid through generations of evolution. They are capable of standing upright (but prefer running four legged) and can use basic stone weapons.



Mages are an actual race and don’t use actual magic, but instead have heighten senses. The can see ultra violet & infra-red, have heat vision, a heightened sense smell, touch and taste. They are empathic, have super speed (about 60-80kph) and can cause the air (or enemy flesh) to be heated or cooled. The down side is they can’t stay in the sun to long and suffer many physical problems.



They would be massive boars (about the height of an African elephant), with long tusks and hard skin. Humans would use them in battle.



Think of a giant flying fish (about 24 metres long), with the head of a crocodile, can walk on land like a plesiosaur and has toxic breath so bad, it can fires in the right conditions.


Anyone else got any other ideas?

Share This Story