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I Am Completely Done With Lumpy Space Princess

Am I the only one greatly disturbed by the latest episode of Adventure Time? Really? Really? (Spoilers and possible triggers below.)

So in Breezy, Finn's not doing so hot, psychologically. It makes sense, seeing how he lost an arm a while back. Dude's trying to deal with the loss, and is having difficulty. This makes a ton of sense, as he has no other humans to interact with, and none of his cronies can relate— I'm struggling to think of any other amputees in Ooo.


Finn's got a case of the droopy flower— literally, that is not a double entendre— so his doctor prescribes a little fun. Finn, who by now is 15 or 16, decides a few smooches might cheer him up.

He encounters a lady bee, Breezy. The titular bee is smitten with Finn's flower, and in order to spend more time with it him, she agrees to be his wingman and get some smooches.

Cue a montage of Finn exploring the different lands of Ooo, hanging with various Princesses, each scene ending with a chaste peck on the lips. Finn's not emotionally equipped for a relationship yet. He gets that. He's just out to have a little fun.

Then Lumpy Space Princess happens. I've mentioned in the past why I have problems with the character, but tonight she crosses whatever line of tolerability she had, far as I'm concerned.


Basically, she forces herself on Finn. I don't know how far things went, and I don't want to know. We mercifully fade to black, followed by Finn trying to sleep and looking very, very uncomfortable. LSP is a few feet away, sleeping just fine.


Our boy's been through enough without a floating, pushy, brat getting handsy (and glob knows what else) when he says no. Am I overreacting? Probably. But it doesn't change the fact that for the umpteenth time, LSP's selfishness has hurt (if not traumatized) someone else. With complete impunity. F*** you, Lumpy Space Princess.

My burning-like-a-thousand-suns hatred for LSP crowds out the rest of what is a legitimately good episode. At the very least, it's an obvious homage to Breezy, the 1970's picture about a young woman and an older man who fall in love, bringing different things to the same relationship (while taking different things from it as well). That's Finn and Breezy the bee all over. Finn's looking for fun, Breezy's looking to 'get pollinated' and settle down. She's a Virgin Queen Bee who sacrifices said virginity when she drinks the royal jelly of a hive of bees that were beating on Finn pretty bad.


One of the more complicated things about this show, is that so much happens that Finn can't actually grasp. He doesn't see Breezy's POV, he doesn't understand what or how he's feeling himself— one of the reasons his smooch-a-thons don't help his mood. He doesn't understand the love he has for Breezy, which sparks a magical transformation from his stub-flower, growing into a mighty tree, then cracking apart, leaving a honey-covered brand new arm. Finn's complete again. That's all that matters to him.

I'm sure he's happy about it, but if Jake the Dog asked Finn tomorrow what happened, Finn would likely shrug and say "Muhuhuh. Had a dream. My arm flower blew up as a tree and blam: sweet, sweet arm action. Check out these bangin' digits!"


Take from it what you will. Let me know what you think in the comments below. I, for one, will be bleaching the inside of my skull to wipe out the images of a horny, insistent Lumpy Space Princess. Good Glob.

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