Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

"I have malfunction in my nine spot."

Found on the Elevator. A neurotic cyborg from the 21st Century (“Decker, T.L./ index J-3, of the Roaring Vectors 252 of East New Web Charlie”) tries to communicate with the past via vinyl LP — arguably the coolest way. “I have a definite positive impulse to touch with you. Meanwhile necessitates I give one-way blue verbal flow at which I function zilch and hope it receives. Touch me, holy baby!” Think Jack Kerouac meets Ralph 124C 41+.


Believed by some to be an actual recording from the future (shades of “John Titor”), but really a private pressing recorded by songwriter Clark Gesner (1938-2002) of “Happiness” fame. This is just an excerpt, but the rest can be found here. There’s also a partial (and error-laden) transcript from a 1973 issue of the journal Radical Software. The “nine spot” is an electrode implanted in the frontal lobes; was this the inspiration for “io9”?

The whole thing is rather eerie, reminiscent of Gibson’s The Peripheral. It also reminds me a bit of the “ah, Clem” section of The Firesign Theatre’s I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus (or as I call it, the real Tomorrowland).

Share This Story

Get our newsletter