Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

...then fails to follow through.

Scene: I am sitting on the couch when my phone rings.

Me: Hello.

Mrs. Hatrack: Guess what I'm wearing and what I'm playing with.

Me: You should know that WinnieTheWoot is sitting at the other end of the couch.


Mrs. Hatrack: I'm wearing my new hearing aids and trying to adjust the sound levels.

Me: That wasn't nearly as interesting as it started out.

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