Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

It is a tragic day in American History

As I reflect on the terrible events of that morning 13 years ago I am reminded, in spite of all the incalculable loss and bitter aftermath left in its wake, that the spirit of our nation and the freedom it represents can never be crushed. We are a proud, resilient country and in the face of evil visited upon our soil we will stand firm, we will stand together, and we will defend our country against all enemies.

This is why I plan to spend the day in the best way I know how: watching a giant marshmallow man attempting to destroy New York City but ultimately being stopped by some enterprising small business owners.


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