Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled It is a tragic day in American History

As I reflect on the terrible events of that morning 13 years ago I am reminded, in spite of all the incalculable loss and bitter aftermath left in its wake, that the spirit of our nation and the freedom it represents can never be crushed. We are a proud, resilient country and in the face of evil visited upon our soil we will stand firm, we will stand together, and we will defend our country against all enemies.

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This is why I plan to spend the day in the best way I know how: watching a giant marshmallow man attempting to destroy New York City but ultimately being stopped by some enterprising small business owners.

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