Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Causes of Death for Some of the Great Philosophers By Stiv Fleishman

  • Thales: Drowning
  • Parmenides: It wasn't anything at all
  • Ockham: Cut while shaving
  • Russell: Cut while being shaved by one who did not shave himself
  • Descartes: Stopped thinking
  • Spinoza: Substance abuse
  • Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
  • Darwin: Natural causes
  • Hume: Unnatural causes
  • Kant: Transcendental causes (although it was his own idea)
  • Paley: By design
  • Heidegger: By Dasein
  • Meinong: Climbing accident
  • Neurath: Boating accident
  • G.E. Moore: By his own hand, obviously
  • Sheffer: Stroke
  • Sartre: Nausea
  • Pascal: Became despondent after losing a wager
  • Wittgenstein: Tried to see if death was an experience one lived through. (Alternate: fell off a ladder)
  • Hegel: Collision with owl at dusk
Illustration for article titled Its Tuesday, So Have Two Philosophy Jokes And Some Really, Really Bad Posters
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Illustration for article titled Its Tuesday, So Have Two Philosophy Jokes And Some Really, Really Bad Posters
Illustration for article titled Its Tuesday, So Have Two Philosophy Jokes And Some Really, Really Bad Posters
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Illustration for article titled Its Tuesday, So Have Two Philosophy Jokes And Some Really, Really Bad Posters

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