Causes of Death for Some of the Great Philosophers By Stiv Fleishman

  • Thales: Drowning
  • Parmenides: It wasn't anything at all
  • Ockham: Cut while shaving
  • Russell: Cut while being shaved by one who did not shave himself
  • Descartes: Stopped thinking
  • Spinoza: Substance abuse
  • Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
  • Darwin: Natural causes
  • Hume: Unnatural causes
  • Kant: Transcendental causes (although it was his own idea)
  • Paley: By design
  • Heidegger: By Dasein
  • Meinong: Climbing accident
  • Neurath: Boating accident
  • G.E. Moore: By his own hand, obviously
  • Sheffer: Stroke
  • Sartre: Nausea
  • Pascal: Became despondent after losing a wager
  • Wittgenstein: Tried to see if death was an experience one lived through. (Alternate: fell off a ladder)
  • Hegel: Collision with owl at dusk