Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Junk in your trunk?

Hey, so I was out running an errand yesterday before the game and while doing so a conversation arose with my best friend.

So we're driving in his Jeep Patriot and he's lying down in the backseat (don't ask) and he tries to hand me something but I can't grab it cause of my hand, which looks like so.


It looked way worse yesterday, I could barely move it because it was swollen. Not allergy related or anything, I hurt it somehow. Today it's working again. And I tell him I can't move my hand to reach back, I'd have to turn completely to grab whatever he was trying to hand me. It is at this point that I again remember he's completely covered in junk. He's got a thicket blanket over himself, a leather laptop bag on top of that and on top of that my Bag of Holding that I told him to hold over a year ago. Oh and top of all that he's got manual bike tire air pump on top. (Don't ask.)

I start laughing and tell him, "You know, if a cop pulled us over right now and sees me with my arm all freakish looking and you with all that on top of you in the backseat of your own car it is either going to not end well or end hilariously." He starts laughing too. I then tell him it reminds me of my Google searches. I'm either on a watch list or I'm off of all watch list forever. "He's either batshit insane and a threat or he's just completely lost his marbles and poses no danger to anyone, not even himself." That kinda thing.

My old '64 1/2 Mustang was kinda the same way. Odd things in it. Empty boxes (which I'd randomly open up and claim were full and put in the backseat and the front passenger seat, to avoid giving people rides), rolls of duct tape and electrical tape (multiples of each), a screwdriver (which was the only tool in the car) and which was always put away under the driver's seat, a jug of radiator fluid (that was filled with and had been for some time, after a thorough cleaning, of drinkable regular water), an aluminum baseball bat, two towels, a stick of deodorant and several McDonald's bags in decent condition (almost pristine, with nothing in them). I honestly don't remember why any of that was in there, but it made sense at the time (this was like 10 years ago).

So what kind of random stuff do you have in your vehicles that would get you odd looks from a cop? Or have a cop just back away slowly and if ever questioned say they never pulled you over and have no idea what anyone was talking about?


Random (driving) story time! My dad was a truck driver when I was young. My little brother often traveled with him. One day my dad gets pulled over for speeding here in Texas by a state trooper. The officer has my dad open the door (so he can see inside) and ask if there is anyone else in the vehicle. My dad tells him, "My kid, he's 3 and asleep in the sleeper." The cop just nods and ask, "Sir, do you have any drugs in the vehicle?" At this point, just as my dad is about to answer, my brother pops up. Either he had just woken up and heard the question or something. My dad wasn't clear on that part of the story, but he answered the question. Sticks his head out from the sleeper, looks the cop dead in the eye and says, "Nope! We smoked them all!" Then ducks his head right back into the sleeper. At this point my dad is thinking, "Well, I'm going to jail." The cop though is thrown off by this. He looks at my dad, looks down at his shoes, starts to say something and then stops, looks back at his shoes then back at my dad and says, "Did he just say what I think he said?" My dad is pretty much ready to get the cuffs slapped on him and responds with, "Yeah... yeah he did." The cop then gets a look on his face like, "Whoa-kayyyy." He then tells him, "Have a nice day." He walks back to his cruiser and takes off at that point and my dad is relieved.

More stories to be shared at a later date. One involving "I'm cooking chicken, Dad! I'm cooking chicken!" That one is also a doozy.

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