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Let slip the kittens of war

Hard times ahead for Quill and Ballon.

This one’s a game changer, not that we really knew the rules for the opening gambit. The spotlight is on Miss Quill for a magical mystery tour in the penultimate episode of Class which has the handy title of The Metaphysical Engine, or What Quill Did! I rather liked this episode which has a better sense of what it is doing than last week. Ideas come thick and fast, thee some great one liners and even the wonky bits look dammed.good.

Spoilers and dangerous kittens follow for Episode Seven of the Doctor Who spin-off.

Headmistress Dorothea is dressed for action.

The first episode of Class established that Charlie is the last survivor and Prince of Rhodia, the people of which were annihilated by the Shadow Kin. They don’t actually look human, but scenes on their world all look like Planet Hogwarts. They obviously take their cosplay seriously. The souls of the Rhodians now reside in a reliquary, The Cabinet of Souls and could return to life if they take over the bodies of another civilisation.

Charlie and his reluctant bodyguard, Quill, which is her name and species, are rescued by The Doctor (possibly the Ninth) and hidden in Coal Hill Academy. Quill’s role as bodyguard is punishment for crimes against the Rhodians and she has a creature called an Arn placed in her head to ensure compliance. Her people have also been destroyed by the Shadow Kin.


The Arn prevents Quill using weapons or doing anything to harm Charlie, though sometimes this is a bit of a bind because she can’t take simple actions to protect him.

When fitting Ram with his prosthetic leg, The Doctor refuses to remove the Arn because Quill is responsible for the deaths of some Coal Hill pupils. She still deserves punishment. However, during the vampire petal invasion, Headmistress Dorothea tempts Quill with the prospect of removing the creature and restoring her free will.

This week starts with the same scene as the previous episode. Quill (Katherine Kelly) locks the Coal Hill Gang in a classroom for detention. Except this time, we follow her down the corridor to an assembly hall to meet up with Dorothea Ames (Pooky Quensel) who has dressed to raid King Solomon’s Mines.


Dorothea asks Quill if she is sure she wants to do this? She is, They are joined by Ballon (Chiké Okonkwo), a shape-shifter trapped on Earth, pretending be a Zygon pretending to be a human. Do The Governors keep alien prisoners? Cue UNIT reference.

Not the TARDIS, but it is bigger on the inside.

Our mysterious Head pulls out a little device, rather the like the kind of musical box that spits out Windy Miller or Chippy Minton. It is a cut price TARDIS that takes our trio to a magical land - the Arn idea of an afterlife. 

Using this device, they travel to three metaphysical locations where they can pick up items they need for the operation, battling gods and demons along the way. We learn a few things about Quill beliefs and biology.

Ballon is seeking his own freedom.

Back to Coal Hill Academy and Dorothea goes to make her report while Ballon sets about removing the Arn from Quill’s head. It’s a success, but Quill is left with a scared face. Celebration is short lived because our sneaky Head has left a cruel little surprise.

There is a slight problem for Quill and Ballon.

Which brings us back to the end of last episode as a transformed Quill marches into Coal Hill and uses her gun to blast the chunk of space coal threatening the gang. Everything she has gone though occurred within the 45 minutes the kids were in last week’s extra-dimensional detention.


As before, the gang splinters, still arguing and while Charlie puzzles how Quill can use a gun, she casually tosses a bag full of bloody Arn remains at him. What will Quill do next? She is war itself, or will be when she wakes up. But the Shadows are coming back ...

Coincidentally, Quill’s scar looks like the Rhodian souls which looks like the tears in space and the lightening bolt motif on the Cabinet of Souls. 

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