Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

The neighbors are only out of town for so long, and these episodes need to get watched. Excuse the accelerated pace. Spoilers, possible cursing, all that.

  • Climbing up on the already-wet dock: not the first take, I presume?
  • The strategy meeting: You know, paragraph two of the US Army OpOrd has a line for why people are going out into harm's way. Maybe Robb should implement that. It would prevent leaders taking the initiative from being a bad thing.
  • The small council: "Collectively, you have more spies than the rest of the world combined." Was this line stolen from September 12? Also, "I am quite good at spending money, but a lifetime of outrageous wealth hasn't taught me much about managing it!" is an excellent line
  • Why are the songs in this show better than anything in The Lord of the Rings? They didn't even get lyrics for "The Bear and the Maiden Fair!" Yet the songs in the LotR books go on for ten pages each!
  • Aww, Hot Pie is keen on Arya! Also, did they establish that Arya was 'Arry and the other guy was Hot Pie, or are they just counting on people having read the books?
  • The Blackfish is in this! That had always bugged me about season two. Big plus.
  • Robb's wife, whom I can't be bothered to look up the name of, patching up a kid: Why? Was this episode short or something?
  • The camp site: Is that what horses look like on the inside? Well-ordered ground beef?
  • Craster's Keep: No, Sam is much fatter than that pig. Also, why does the outside of his keep look like a roadside souvenir shop in Arizona?
  • Theon's torture chamber: "Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est, nanana na na na run run away!"
  • The shores of Dragonstone: C'mon man. Sure, she's fun to look at, but have some pride.
  • The slave-crucifying spot: Alright, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that beautiful coastline. Where the hell is that?
  • The slavers' meeting: I am digging these translations. Excellent. Also, it seems hard to give anyone a credit for the curve of her ass when he's staring at that translator's. Ah, nice. They aren't wasting that nice ass on a one-and-done appearance.
  • The brothel: Oh, Roz, I hear you get killed at the end of this season. How will I manage to continue watching afterward?
  • The brothel, con't.: I kept wondering why he didn't get Pod laid. I would expect more for saving Tyrion's life, but that's not a bad start. Also, Jenna was the name of the girl who was my first time. Odd coincidence, and something I'm sure you weren't interested in learning, but there it is.
  • The treasurer's meeting: I wanna be Bronn when I think about my student loans. I wanna be Pod if I ever get a prostitute.
  • Random miserable-looking hills: Yeah, I want nothing to do with climbing those. So, was the flail guy especially menacing, or did he just get highlighted because he's the one who nailed Theon. Correction: nobody nailed Theon. But there is some naked Theon-butt. I guess if you can pretend it isn't shown as a part of a rape scene, you girls get your first fanservice in... well, ages.
  • The camp: You know what has made this series depart from the books? The lack of rape. Glad they're going to fix that. Wish it wasn't slated for just one episode.
  • The camp, com't.: Right, that surprised me, and I knew it was supposed to be coming.
    — Is this a rock mix of the "Bear and the Maiden Fair?" I am such a fan, there aren't words.

Will there be another tonight? Who knows? Do you guys care? Well, I haven't checked my notifications in the past hour, so, maybe? Like I said, timeline, neighbor will be back soon, et cetera. Tune in next time to find out.

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