Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

LizTaylor'sEarrings' Origin Story

"We are Legion. We are Beauty. We are Doom. We are LizTaylor'sEarrings."

Many moons ago, when the earth was fresh and young, a woman came into being.

She was not from a mother's womb, but from the sinister laboratory of a Hollywoodland wizard. This wizard was trying to make a new star for the heavens. He had stirred the rare ingredients, simmered them under a full moon, sacrificed the beautiful animals and recited the holy words. He waited on bated breath for a shining star to emerge from the goo and take its place in the night sky.


Instead, a strange new creature gracefully slinked out of the cauldron, leaving flowers in bloom wherever she stepped.

"A woman!" the wizard cried "What magic is this? Who are you?"

"My name, my dear wizard, is Elizabeth Taylor." her musical voiced giggle coquettishly. "But you can call me Liz."


The wizard was hypnotized by this beautiful creature.

"What... What can I do for you, my lady?"

She grinned. It was happening as she had planned.

"I will need a robe. And jewels. Get me all the jewels."

The wizard obeyed. But all he had was a pair of his late wife's diamond earbobs. Would that do?


"They will do wonderfully."

She put them on. She stared at the wizard, who was entranced by the earrings. They seem to sparkle, glimmer, no, they glowed. He could not look away. They seem to be pulling, reaching for him. With a cry his face turned blank.


He was hers.

She traveled the world, gaining more and more souls of those who saw her and fell under her spell, all contained in her jewels. The world sent knights in an attempt to control her, but they could not. No one lasted; they always fled or perished. The grandson of Grand Old Hilton could not contain her. English aristocrats could not. There was high hope for another wizard from the place of her birth, but he could not last and perished in the attempt. They even tried placating her with a musician, but he could not contain her. She simply grew more and more intoxicating and more and more powerful.


But even cauldron-born seductresses cannot live forever. On a single, simple day, she left this earth for the land from whence she came. Her jewels were found by the Innkeeper Christie, who knew that such power cannot be held by one person. So he sold the pieces, disguised as simple jewelry, to people all over the world. He hoped that they would never know what they had, and never try to take the world again.

But the wearers of the jewels always seemed to glow.

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