Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

So the Russian mma promotion M-1 Global has taken the next logical step in mixed martial arts by adding swords and shields and armor, and then put the fighters in a ring with a ref and ring card girls.

It started as a one-off event to display the martial skills of some Moscow modern knights who train with swords and armor. They were one of the distractions in between the actual mma fights. But now it’s becoming its own thing, with rules and a scoring system — three 3-minute rounds, 1 point for a strike that lands on the armor or helmet, 5 points for a takedown. And just like regular mixed martial arts, there are still punches and kicks and grappling. Except with swords and shields and in freaking armor.


One of the best parts of the below commentary: “What they do complain about is if they don’t use their helmet properly there could be some trauma.”

One of the best parts of the video: A cornerman between rounds using the shield to fan his fighter.

The two fighters in the clip have been training at this for years, and they get pretty sapped by the third round, about seven minutes in. That might put what actual knights had to go through in a different light. It’s not exactly Ragnar Lothbrok taking Paris or Jon Snow defending the Wall.

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