We knew this day would come. Evil oil corporation magnates made plain their dastardly plans to melt the sea ice, but this bear knows that BLOOD & OIL DON'T MIX.

Underground blood and polar bear drool filled the throats of thousands that took to London's streets today. If you want to stay sane, that's all you need to know.

I'll warn you, this is a followup to my previous post — read it out loud to yourself for context: Outsourcing Progress to the Hive Mind. I recommend using a different accent for each paragraph so you don't feel so alone.