Sorry for the delay of last week's live blog of Gotham. To make up for it, here's a double dose with last week and this week's episodes:


"The Mask"

  • Some random dude is recreating the office scene from The Matrix.
  • Now he's fighting his double?
  • He stole that paper cutter weapon idea from the "Crimson Permanent Assurance" section of Monty Python and the Meaning of Life.
  • Oh god, Nygma. He'd better not ask a riddle or I'm going to kick in my TV.
  • Yes! Ozzie being creepy!
  • Mooney, your fab neckwear more than makes up for your lack of great earrings.
  • You lick that Penguin blood like the vamp you are, Fish. Never change.
  • Ha! Bruce-chan's prep school drama. Because they have to make up things for him to do. I hope it turns into Song of Wind and Trees levels of tragic melodrama.
  • Wow, Ozzie's mom is quite devious. She sent her rival's parents to the Gulag. The apple and tree and all that.
  • Back Alley Doctor is delightful.
  • lol Barbara's a wreck. Serves you right and your bad-acting, chin-dimple face.
  • Is that Black Mask? The whiskers make the mask quite ridiculous. I know they were going for an eastern Raijin/Fujin thing, but no.
  • Oh no, Bruce-chan is being bullied. How topical. This can only end like Scut Farkus in A Christmas Story.
  • "I'd give you a good cop routine, but it's not in my toolkit." Award for best line goes to Bullock this week.
  • Bruce-chan is going to get his ass kicked. I'm guessing Alfred will teach him how to fight, and he'll either kick the bully's ass or choose not to fight him in the final scene. Why do we have to sit through this again?
  • Gordon stumbles into danger headlong like a rookie.
  • Obligatory Selina scene. What does this have to do with anything?
  • Black Mask, you are dumb for broadcasting this without hiding Gordon's identity.
  • Bullock is now firmly on Team Gordon.
  • Oh course Gordon kicks everybody's ass with no problem.
  • I like the expressions that woman with the Coke can curls is making.
  • Black Mask is nowhere near as scary as he should be.
  • Mooney's earring/necklace combo are very cool, but I don't want them for myself.
  • So now we have Mooney's origin story. It's the same as Dexter's.
  • And now Ozzie knows about Fish's secret moll-mole.
  • We already knew Fish was a big fat liar. Her mom is sweet, though.
  • Barabara continues to be dumb. But she's leaving. Yay!
  • Bruce-can begins his training next week. I thought he was already learning cane fighting a few weeks ago.

Half Time!


On to episode 9! "Harvey Dent"

"Harvey, no."

  • Bruce-chan and Selina have a meet-cute. Ugh.
  • Harvey's scared straight routine is way too obvious. No self-respecting juvenile delinquent would fall for his hokey doe-eyed magic trick.
  • "Dick Lovecraft"? Pfft-bwahahahahaha!
  • Some morning boxing in the garden, Master Bruce-chan?
  • I don't know how I feel about Selina and Bruce being friends as kids.
  • Of course Gotham has a munitions factory.
  • Don't ever accept Swiss Colony Beef Logs from strangers. They could be bombs.
  • Selina and Bruce-chan sitting in a tree, A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
  • Love your dress, Mooney. Golden rib bone accents are in this year.
  • Ozzie's following his nose to the great taste of nefarious plots.
  • Stop touching people, Nygma. It's uncomfortable for all of us.
  • Time for a good old-fashioned shoot-out. But it's too early in the episode for anything to come of it.
  • Things are getting pretty sweet between Bruce-chan and Selina. Cockblock Alfred to the rescue.
  • Looks like the guy playing Harvey watched Batman Forever to prepare for the role when he should have watched TAS.
  • I used to play that hold-your-breath-underwater game as a kid. Only I would stick my head in a 5 gal. bucket. It's a wonder I didn't die.
  • Why are the Russian mob hanging out at the King in Yellow's lair?
  • "Final Countdown" is the bomb's ringtone. I don't know if that's dumb or brilliant.
  • This bagel war is pretty cute.
  • Oedipus Singer Girl has a really nice apartment.
  • I feel like Harvey's actor would fit in much better with the cast of Mad Men.
  • Those are the worst burlesque dancers ever.
  • Arkham Asylum's origin story is now complete.
  • Barbara's back with Montoya. Oh no she didn't!
  • That has got to be one of the top 5 awkward lesbian kisses between straight actresses. I need the Utena/Anthy kiss to make it all better.
  • Next week: Possibly Lady Shiva and the Hand and/or Foot go after Bruce-chan.