Things on my mind when I don't want to think about right now so I'm just venting. Feel free to scroll on.
1.I have a hole in my tooth the size of a small country and I haven't really been able to eat on that side of my face for a little over a year. Earlier today, the back part of the tooth has decided to branch off and become its own independent nation so it has split (fortunately, it doesn't hurt. Yet). I'm not sure when I can get this handled due to limited funds in the House of Juggler.
I'm now sitting in my room, hungry but too afraid to really eat anything because the rest of the tooth might fall out or mutate or whatever the feck is coming up next.
Then, earlier this week, me and MamaJuggler were talking about my cousin and the angst-y problems in her life and it shifted to me and when I'm going to get a job (To clarify, I have a job. It's a knitting instructor thing that's not very serious). In Mom's defense, she wasn't upset or pushing me. She's just concerned about me getting over my fear of adulthood and making that next step. But I mean, it's ADULTHOOD. That's terrifying. I've never wanted to be an adult or know what I wanted to do when I got there and I still have no idea. So far, my dreams of being in a musical, becoming a bestseller writer, being an architect by day/Cat burglar by night or being a member of the X-Men has yet to pan out! What else is there?! Then I still have to learn how to drive which is the freaking gateway to the Dreaded Adulthood.
I know that I'm making a bigger thing out of all of these things. This is my last driving-less year, I'm going to be pushing myself to search for a job in August once I finish something. We'll get to the tooth soon and hopefully can be fixed (although I hate the idea of getting another cap) but at worst, the tooth will fall out and we'll work from there. It's just I'm not feeling very logical right now and I know that if I don't get these thoughts and emotions out of the way, it's going to roll around in my head until it explodes in some sort of horrible crying-ness way.
Then none of you are reading/commenting on my non-Book Club post here so I feel like I'm not really contributing to Team O-Deck or that I'm just here, you know? Once again, I'm probably being crazy about feeling like this but I'm a girl! We do stuff like that.
I might just need to eat something. Screw this, I'm eating, dang it!
ETA: Ate a hot dog, chipped tooth fell out, cried on mom's shoulder while she rocked me and told me soothing words. I'm calling the dentist Monday morning for an appointment. I oddly feel a bit better that it's gone, the upstart. I'll probably be listening to Sparks Nevada tomorrow to cheer myself up.