Good news everyone. I have chosen a winner. I'd like to take a moment to "show my work" and explain the methodology that I used to decide from the many choices provided to me as nominations. I promise to keep this brief and as nonsensical as possible.
Step 1: Google search for a fabulous looking gold star.
Step 2: Create a nominations post. You may remember seeing it earlier.
Step 3: Read comments and exchange witty banter.
Step 4: Pick up cat and swing her about while reading each nomination until she scratches me. Whichever comment I was reading while scratched is disqualified.
Step 5: Repeat Step 4 until one comment remains.
Step 6: Apply antibiotic cream to scratches.
Step 7: Create this post announcing winner
Step 8: Bask in the glory of having done a job better than anyone else could have imagined.
Anyways, the winner was CrashedPC with the comically misspelled "I AM A WINNAR"