I'm still in the contagious stage, so don't open any attachments. Or something. Seriously, you don't want this.
I went to see a doctor today, and this is how that went:
Doctor: You definitely have the flu. Did you get your flu shot?
Me: I totally meant to, but somehow I...didn't.
Doctor: Well, now you don't need one until next flu season. Enjoy ten more days of this.
I promised myself I'd get mine early next time. I do not want to do this again. I've been good about flu shots in the past, and now I know why. Or at least, I am reminded why.
I don't know about the rest of you, but illness like this gives me really weird dreams, when I'm not kept awake by my own horrible coughing and wishing for the sweet release of death. Last night I had a dream that someone had invented an app that you could install on your car to turn it into a flat, flying carpet-like hovercraft that you directed by pushing buttons. And for some reason, a neighbor of my mom's had installed that app on my car, turning it into a hovercraft for his kids to play with, and he wouldn't change it back and I couldn't figure out how the app worked.
It was horrible. And then I woke up, and that was horrible, too.
Trips to the grocery store are more interesting when you're sick. Things that you want but wouldn't normally buy are suddenly even more super-appealing.
Red velvet muffins? Those aren't red velvet muffins. Those are miniature red velvet cakes. Four of them. In a box. Why don't they just be honest about it and say, "Here are four delicious miniature red velvet cakes," instead of trying to make you feel better about eating them for breakfast.
Yes, I'll take them.
Anyway, I should be back on schedule with the Wednesday Woof, and Caturday from there. An attempt at a serious Caturday while under the influence of the flu probably would have been disastrous.
So have some cat gifs.