Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Sacrilege for the Sabbath

If there is one thing that I truly enjoy, it is sitting down and drinking some ice cold beer. If there is one thing I absolutely do not enjoy, it is listening to a lecture about the destination of my soul after I die. Fortunately, these two activities would never coincide, right?

Oh, come on now, religion! We had an agreement! Apparently in an effort to boost attendance, churches are now adding craft beer to the list of things they have spoiled. Not content with ruining bingo and pancake breakfasts, these forward thinking congregations are now offering free beer and snacks to get people to come to church. Beer & Hymn events held on Saturday nights are becoming popular in some cities.

"Maybe you have heard of this phenomenon and maybe you haven’t? If you have experienced the beauty and contagious joy that comes from singing old beloved hymns with sloppy “jalopy gospel” grooves, on or off key, you have more than likely been changed by the experience! It’s not in the beer or the hymn, but in reigniting the joy of communal singing."


Getting drunk and singing hymns not your thing? Well, if they can't get you to come to the Jesus, then they'll bring the Jesus to you. Other churches are now holding services in pubs on Sunday evenings. Clearly they are geniuses. People who are sitting in a bar on a Sunday definitely don't want to watch football and drink. They want to hear your opinions on sin.

"A guy sits at the bar nursing a beer, he overhears the Gospel of Luke, he sees people line up to take bread and wine, he gets curious."

Both programs seem to highlight the fundamental flaw in the thinking of most Christian churches. Young people aren't interested in going to church, so we should add some hip, cool events to get them through the door. We won't change our views on social issues that are keeping young people away, we'll just give out beer and play some of that rock and roll music all the kids like.

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