Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled Secret Wars #1: Holy Shit

Spoilers, blah blah. You’ve been warned, blah blah. Don’t read any further if you wish to remain unspoiled, etc etc. I’m clearly just trying to write enough so that the spoilery bits don’t accidentally show up on the header and piss someone off. Have I done enough now? I hope so, because it’s very difficult to write about nothing in particular. Unless of course, it’s about a moose kissing my sister. Or did it bite my sister? Or both? Great, now I have moose porn stuck in my brain.

K, that should be enough.

Secret Wars #1 is a true marvel to behold. It’s got everything you could want in an apocalyptic comic book. Heroes fighting each other for the safety of their respective universes (even though they are both clearly screwed). Ultimate Reed Richards being a tremendous asshole and sending Ultimate heroes to go get killed while he tries some “awesome” plan that ended up failing anyway. Fury being Fury. Ultimate Iron Man hitting on 616 Captain Marvel as she’s beating the shit out of him. Doc Green, She-Hulk, and Colossus knocking over a big ass building that’s pretty darn important in the Ultimate Universe. Thanos as a voice of reason. And 616 Reed trying to save everyone and not only failing miserable, but taking some pretty damn personal losses himself. And in the end, a simple tombstone page:

The Marvel Universe


The Ultimate Universe


They are really gone. The Marvel Universe and Ultimate Universe are no more. All that’s left is possibly Doom and part of a lifeboat.


This issue had be on the edge of my seat, and didn’t let go. It’s been a very long time since a comic has done that. I think it hasn’t happened since Age of Apocalypse, and this story has a very similar vibe. I can’t wait until Issue 2, and highly recommend picking up this series. Hickman might just have a masterpiece on his hands, and Ribic’s art is superb.

Everything dies...scratch that. Everything’s dead. I can't wait to see what happens next!

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