Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Soccer Players In More Danger From Suarez Than Sharks

The New Statesman crunched some numbers and found that professional soccer players are now more likely to be bitten by Luis Suarz than a shark.

Suarez has bitten three players so far in his 441 professional games to date. That's one chomp in every 147 games.


Counting the 11 starters and the 3 substitutes, that makes 14 total players he could nom on in each game (not counting his teammates). Not all of the subs are making it on, so the New Statesman rounds it down to 6,160 total players who have been at risk when Suarez patrolled the waters. Since he's bitten 3 of those 6,160 players, that means 1 in about every 2,000 players are at risk from a Suarez attack when on the field with him.

By contrast, those same players have a 1 in 3.7 million chance of being bitten by an actual shark while swimming (and even less while playing soccer),

However, the article does point out how it's not really a fair comparison — since soccer players are actively heading into Suarez-infested pitches when they play against his team, but aren't necessarily going into shark-infested waters when they swim in the ocean. To that end, the magazine looked at New Smyrna Beach, Florida, the shark attack capital of the world. If a pro soccer player jumps into the water with the New Smyrna sharks, they're about as likely to be bitten there as they are by playing against Luis Suarez.

Which would you rather take your chances with? It can't be great being bitten by Suarez, but Chiellini only acted like he'd been bitten by a shark.


Share This Story