Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
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Some years ago, I had never though said I'd say that...

... but casting The Rock in a movie where he plays second fiddle to the special effects is a waste of talent and charisma.... Mild spoilers for San Andreas - but it’s not that who dies is going to surprise you much ;) except for one character...


Oh, bitchy Kylie Minogue, we hardly knew ye... That - was pretty funny...

“Wait, is that...?”

Says her first line.

“Yeah, that’s her!”

Says her second line - makes clear she’s a bitch.

“Well, that’s a surprise, I wonder if she...”

Walks though the wrong door.

“OK. Bye, Kylie.”

Illustration for article titled Some years ago, I had never though said Id say that...

Other than that - we know who dies and who lives. We know the building in which the finale is gonna take place.
We are hardly surprised as to what is the last big danger to Dwayne Johnson’s daughter is going to be.

The characters are one dimensional as hell - and with Carla Gugino and Johnson, that’s a waste of two great charismas. The plot is thin. And a very, very well traveled road. So well that the writer may have forgotten to actually put the parts in he was supposed to add...


“I’m here with is our seismologist of the movie, Paul Giamati. He warned everyone but nobody listened.”

Uhm. No? He knew about the Earthquake, but the actual “Dammit, we’re not going to close the beach because you think there’s a shark” scene was missing - we skipped right to the quake...


And of course there’s a huge-ass US flag on the Golden Gate Bridge at the end - because this is an American Earthquake, dammit!

All that said..... you don’t watch an Earthquake movie for the plot, do you. And as such - it’s a pretty good Earthquake movie. it really has everything an Earthquake movie needs. I’d even say given the effects it uses, the camera pans, even some of the 3D the time was ripe for another one to apply the latest FX to it... and he effects look great. It’s like the Earthquake scene from 2012 got it’s own movie....


The film has a good pacing - the slow moments are - well - filled with plot and I talked about that, but they’re short - just enough time to relax a little and just before it gets boring it gets back to the action.

I may - even - recommend seeing it in 3D - I’m not a fan of it, but this is one of those that are made for hardly any other purpose and it’s not bad 3D, so if you like 3D, you may even try it.


If you like disaster movies or just action movies that are entertaining in how easy it is to turn your brain of - not a bad choice.

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