Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

So we already know a few things about the casting in the next Spider-Man movie: Peter Parker will be played by Tom Holland and Aunt May will be played by Marisa Tomei (who is fifty, if you can believe it). But who should play the rest of the supporting cast?

J. Jonah Jameson

At first, I thought the only person who could play Triple J was the man himself, J. K. Simmons. After all, he isn’t too old and he still has the gravitas (see: Whiplash). But then someone suggested Keith David and holy crap yes. Keith David as J. Jonah Jameson would be spectacular.

Gwen Stacy

While I loved Emma Stone as Gwen in Amazing Spider-Man, she just wouldn’t fit in with the younger Peter in this movie. You know who would? Abigail Breslin. She’s the same age as Tom Holland and she has the acting chops — even if you don’t like Scream Queens, she has shown to be pretty good in it.


Mary Jane Watson

Just because Gwen Stacy is in the movie doesn’t mean MJ can’t show up either. And do we know anyone who is a great actress, is the same age as the others, and has red hair? Why yes we do: Sophie Turner (yes, this does mean she would be playing both Jean Grey and Mary Jane Watson, but just go with it).

And now for some villains.

Adrian Toomes/The Vulture

We need someone who is older, with gray hair, but who still has gravitas. Someone who can be bombastic and creepy at the same time. We need Peter Capaldi. Oh yes.


Sergei Kravinoff/Kraven the Hunter

For Kraven, you need someone who has a physical presence and can be absolutely terrifying as they hunt you down. And Javier Bardem was absolutely terrifying as Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men, so he would fit perfectly.


Quentin Beck/Mysterio

You need someone who can be scary, but also hilarious as they try and fail in their schemes. So: Garret Dillahunt.


That’s all I have so far. What do you guys think? What suggestions do you have?

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