Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
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Star Junkie

Illustration for article titled Star Junkie

Hi. I'm Alexander Robles. You may remember me from such comments as "Two more days...sigh" and the Rocket Racoon laughing gif. Well, I have a startling confession...


I...I'm a star junkie.

It's been thirty seconds since my last fix. Every time I see that Notifications circle go red, I stop what I'm doing to see what's been recommended and who recommended it. It's become a debilitating illness. I dream of stars, see the "such-and-such has recommended your post" in my dreams. My wife left me, my kid barely recognizes me.


Fortunately, there is an answer. I've recently joined Starholics Anonymous, a really supportive group who are in the same boat I'm in. They have been super helpful and done a lot to help me come to terms with my condition. They take my phone away when I get too far gone. They've blocked io9 and other Kinja sites from my laptop to remove the temptation. And even though I still get that terrible itch in the back of my brain, that need for validation, it's getting better. I've even started leaving the house again, and my daughter calls me Daddy again instead of "Phoneface."

If you think you may have an addiction, look for the following symptoms:

*You type in "io9.com" even when you are trying to type another address.

*You comment on every article, and reply to every commenter.

*You feel a close relationship to the authors and fellow commenters even though they see you only as a (valued) reader or fellow commenter, nothing more.


*You feel shame when your comment doesn't get stars. Or a sense of guilt or anger when you get negative feedback.

*You have dreams about the authors and/or other commenters.

If any of these symptoms apply to you, call 789- 555- 2478, or go to StarJunkie.net. There is help out there. You are not alone.


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