Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

I’m liking this show, although not as much as I would if it were just Picard and his Romulan buds hanging at the Chateau, drinking wine and repelling Romulan assassins, but there was one thing in the latest episode that made me raise my eyebrow like Spock. Warning: spoilers and peak pedantry ahead.

The nitpick isn’t about the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Chateau Picard fight, although it’s becoming really obvious that those are the shittiest assassins in the 24th century—they always show up with the element of surprise yet get their asses righteously fucking wrecked by absolutely everyone, every single time before melting themselves and others with acid. Why not just lead with the acid? It’s the only thing that seems to work for them.


The nitpick also isn’t about the fact that the design of the new ship they’re apparently going to be cruising around in is clearly based on Eddie Van Halen’s guitar—that’s actually kind of cool.

No, the nitpick is this:


While Commodore Oh was undeniably wearing the shit out of those shades, she’s a Vulcan, a world so ridiculously sunny her species evolved a second set of eyelids. (See: Operation: Annihilate when Spock got blinded by the powerful light they used to kill the grody flying pancake creatures but later was all, never mind, my extra eyelids took care of it). No Vulcan would have any use for even the sweetest pair of Matrix shades on Earth.

Smelling the heavy sweetness of the grapes,

This has been your Star Trek: Picard nitpick of the week

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